Relationships are messy. Even the healthiest partnerships hit bumps in the road—communication breakdowns, unmet needs, emotional disconnect, or repeated conflict. That’s normal. Healing those patterns is possible. That’s where couples therapy counseling becomes a space not of blame, but of repair, understanding, and reconnection.
I’m Sara, LCSW, and I’ve supported couples of all kinds—traditional, queer, poly, partnered through distance—helping them rediscover trust, joy, and shared purpose. Here’s a compassionate, step-by-step look at how couples therapy works and how it might help your relationship.
Why Couples Therapy Is Worth It
Relationships often reflect what’s happening in ourselves. When fear, shame, or stress build up inside one person, it can ripple through the entire partnership. Therapy offers a way to:
- Rebuild trust and emotional safety
- Learn healthy communication and conflict strategies
- Deepen intimacy—emotional, physical, and relational
- Navigate transitions (parenthood, career shifts, loss)
- Heal relational wounds from the past
- Strengthen friendships, alliances, and shared values
Whether you’re at a breaking point or just feeling “something is off,” therapy isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of care. It’s a step toward doing better—together.
How I Approach Couples Work
Every relationship is unique, but there are 3 values I bring to all couples sessions:
- Neutral witnessing – I’m not on either side; I’m here to validate both of you and help you hear each other.
- Skill-based tools – We work on real communication and conflict tools drawn from evidence-based strategies.
- Heart-centered empathy – I help you reconnect with the love that brought you together in the first place.
Who Joins Couples Therapy
Couples I support include:
- Long-term partners addressing repeated conflict
- Couples at major transitions (new parent, empty nest, relocation)
- Those recovering trust after an affair or boundary breach
- Polyamorous, non-monogamous, or queer relationships needing inclusive and affirming care
- Couples thinking about separation, divorce, or co-parenting shifts
If any of these sound familiar, know that therapy can be tailored to your experience and identity.
What to Expect in Sessions
Couples therapy sessions typically run 60 minutes and include both of you together—with optional individual check-ins if helpful. Here’s how a session might unfold:
- Check-in: We begin by acknowledging what’s on each person’s mind and heart
- Exploration: I help each of you share your experience and I reflect it back for clarity
- Skill-building: We work through communication tools—validating, listening, turning-toward each other
- Homework: You’ll practice small exercises between sessions to reinforce new patterns
- Review: We check what’s working, what feels hard, and adjust the plan
This process is collaborative, paced, and always aiming toward deeper connection—not perfection.
Five Common Challenges We Address
- Communication Breakdowns
Relying on blame, silence, or defensiveness instead of connection.
Skill: “I” statements, reflective listening, emotional validation. - Repeated Cycles
Like the withdrawal–pursue pattern or “silent treatment” loops.
Skill: Recognize the cycle, pause, change the narrative. - Emotional Disconnection
Feeling distant, lonely, or uncertain about your partner’s emotional availability.
Skill: Shared emotional experiences, curiosity questions, safe touch. - Trust Wounds
Breaches from infidelity, dishonesty, or unmet expectations.
Skill: Rebuilding rituals, boundary discussions, transparent talk. - Life Transitions
Parenthood, job loss, relocation, caregiving, or aging.
Skill: Pausing, re-evaluating expectations, aligning core values.
Tools & Approaches in Couples Work
Emotionally-Focused Tools
These help partners track and respond to emotional signals with attunement and warmth—ultimately promoting secure attachment.
Gottman Method Skills
We use small exercises like the “stress-reducing conversation,” positive appreciation rituals, and gentle conflict strategies.
Attachment Repair Work
When parts of your story created insecurity patterns, we use tools to reattach and reframe those early wounds.
Communication Rebuild
Grounded speech, curiosity-based listening, and scheduled check-ins become your teamwork structure.
Mindfulness in Relationships
We work to bring presence to moments of connection—conversation, intimacy, daily life.
Why Integrative Approaches Matter
A couple’s dynamic doesn’t exist in isolation—it’s shaped by each partner’s personal trauma and narrative. That’s why couples therapy often includes:
- Individual growth—we might highlight personal therapy (via individual therapy)
- Trauma-informed care—if relational pain or backgrounds of trauma are factors
- Holistic healing—addressing body awareness, grounding tools, and rest rhythms
- Care coordination—if support across providers is needed
This blend creates a safe container for both connection and healing.
When Couples Don’t Stay Together
Sometimes couples therapy leads to separation. That outcome still matters. We can use sessions to:
- Improve co-parenting structures (see divorce & co-parenting)
- Reduce conflict for families and children
- Provide emotional support for a healthy transition
Therapy doesn’t have to be about staying together; it can also be about honoring the relationship you had and transforming future dynamics.
How to Know It’s Time
Couples therapy can be helpful at any stage—but it’s especially useful if:
- You feel disconnected or invisible
- You avoid sex, communication, or affection
- You silently dread having important conversations
- Your home feels tense or like “walking on eggshells”
- You wonder if there’s still love, but you’re not sure
If that resonates, therapy can help you find your way back—or forward.
Logistics & How to Begin
I offer:
- Online therapy—if you’re long-distance, home-based, or need flexibility
- Face-to-face sessions—for those who want in-person connection
- Group workshops—focused on communication skill-building
Our initial consultation is a private, no-pressure conversation to see if we’re the right fit. You can explore pricing and FAQs on my site, and when you’re ready, just reach out to begin.
Love, but Not Perfect—That’s Okay
Perfect relationships don’t exist. Real ones evolve, challenge us, hurt us, and heal us. If you still feel connected—or wish you didn’t feel so disconnected—you’re in exactly the right place to begin.
Couples therapy is not about fixing yourself or your partner—it’s about rediscovering what binds you.* *And if it leads to a healthier separation or new relationship blueprint—that’s valid too.
Final Thought
Every relationship—that includes yours—is deserving of care, repair, and attention. Your story matters. Your love matters. And I’d be honored to hold that space for you, together.Warmly,
Sara