You know that inner critic that never seems to take a day off? That voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough—just not enough? You’re not alone. As a therapist, I can tell you that self-esteem is one of the most common and deeply impactful issues people bring into the therapy room. And here’s the good news: it can get better.
Let’s talk about what self-esteem counseling actually looks like, why it matters, and how it can help you build a more compassionate and confident relationship with yourself.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is your overall sense of self-worth or personal value. It shapes how you view yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you interact with the world around you. When your self-esteem is low, it can show up in ways you might not even notice at first: procrastinating, avoiding relationships, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or just constantly feeling like you’re falling short.
The goal of self-esteem counseling isn’t to convince you that you’re amazing 24/7 (because let’s be honest, no one feels that way all the time). Instead, it’s about helping you relate to yourself with honesty, kindness, and balance.
What Happens in Self-Esteem Counseling?
Every person is different, so your therapy experience should be, too. But here are a few things you might expect in self-esteem counseling:
1. Identifying the Inner Critic
We start by noticing that voice in your head—you know, the one that says, “You always mess things up” or “You don’t deserve better.” We’ll get curious about where that voice came from. Often, it’s rooted in old experiences, family dynamics, or societal messages. Naming the critic is the first step to changing the narrative.
2. Exploring Core Beliefs
Together, we’ll look at the beliefs you’ve been carrying about yourself. Beliefs like “I’m not lovable,” “I’m a failure,” or “I always let people down.” Therapy helps us challenge those thoughts and, over time, replace them with ones that are more realistic and compassionate.
3. Practicing Self-Compassion
This might be the hardest part, but also the most transformative. Self-compassion doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook; it means being on your own side. We’ll work on learning how to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend who was struggling.
4. Setting Boundaries and Building Confidence
Low self-esteem often leads to saying “yes” when we mean “no,” overextending ourselves, or avoiding challenges. Counseling can help you learn how to set boundaries and take up space—at work, in relationships, and in your own life.
How Self-Esteem Counseling Can Help
You start seeing yourself more clearly. Not through the distorted lens of insecurity or past wounds, but through a more accurate and caring perspective.
You stop trying to earn your worth. Worth isn’t something you have to hustle for. It’s something you inherently have, even if you don’t always feel it.
You become less afraid of failure. Because your sense of value isn’t tied to being perfect all the time.
You build better relationships. When you feel better about yourself, you’re more likely to choose partners, friends, and coworkers who treat you with the respect you deserve.
Why I Care About Self-Esteem Work
I’ve worked with so many clients who come in feeling like they’re broken. They apologize for crying, for taking up space, for having needs. And over time, I see them start to shift. They begin to own their stories, trust their worth, and take pride in who they are—not in a performative way, but in a grounded, resilient way. That kind of transformation is why I do this work.
What Makes My Approach Different?
If you’re looking for quick fixes, I’m not your therapist. But if you’re ready to do the deep, meaningful work of reshaping how you see and treat yourself, then we might be a good fit.
My style is warm, nonjudgmental, and gently challenging. I use evidence-based approaches like CBT, ACT, and attachment-based therapy, along with a healthy dose of humor and real talk.
You can also explore other parts of my practice, like individual therapy, teen therapy, relationship therapy, or mindfulness-based work.
When to Consider Self-Esteem Counseling
- You constantly doubt your abilities, even when others praise you
- You feel like an imposter at work or in relationships
- You avoid setting boundaries because you’re afraid of rejection
- You talk to yourself in ways you’d never talk to someone else
- You feel like you have to earn love, rest, or success
Sound familiar? Then it might be time to talk.
Next Steps
You don’t have to keep walking around with that nagging sense that you’re not enough. Self-esteem counseling is a space to unlearn that story and write a new one.
If you’re ready to get started, you can learn more about me, explore my services, or reach out directly through my contact page.
Let’s work together to help you feel more like you again—worthy, capable, and grounded in who you are.
Looking for more? Check out my blog for other mental health topics, or explore our therapy approach for additional ways we support clients.